I never thought that I would be in this position. A position where I would be trying to find someone else to spend my forever with. I never thought I would be forced to start from the ground up, in trying to figure out my new dreams, goals and aspirations in life. I had a plan, but sometimes your plans don't always follow through.
I moved back home to Utah in December, once I came home, it was like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Slowly, I had some anxiety about dating and figuring out my new life style. It was scary going from one life style and sucked into a whole new atmosphere that you weren't used to. In time, that anxiety turned into confidence and the worries turned into an unstoppable strength.
After my divorce was finalized in January, I heard thousands of comments from everyone. It was overwhelming and I honestly just wanted to run away from those who were telling me what to do. "You need to wait at least a year before dating someone serious. Only date to have fun." or "You are moving on way too fast." All of these comments were and still are hard to hear.
If I am being honest, I am dating to find my eternal companion. I'm not wanting to date around just to have a NCMO (non committed make out), one night stand, booty call or simply because I have nothing going on that night; I'm dating to find a future spouse. I know EXACTLY what I want and I'm definitely not going to settle for anything less, so you bet your bottom dollar I have "a list" of not only what I want in a guy, but what I NEED in a future spouse.
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